Hi everyone!
As promised here
are the three examples of how you can write your stories, depending on what
grades you are working towards.
What you will
notice is that there are three main
things that I look at when grading your texts:
+ Grammar (Do you conjugate your verbs
correctly? Do you remember to add a -s when it's he/she/it?)
+ Variation (Do you use the same
phrases/words over and over again, or do you try to vary yourself?)
+ Spelling (In general, to get a higher
grade, your spelling needs to be really good, almost perfect.)
- - - - - -
The story of the dead guinea pig and singing in the
rain.
This happened
on my little brother’s 5th birthday. It was early November and we had
a party to celebrate. We invited all of our relatives; our grandparents,
uncles, aunts and of course our cousins.
I was 7
at the time and so during the party my cousins and I mostly played games
together. We played hide-and-seek, we chased each other around
and then later in the evening we took all the balloons and started
throwing them around. We also hit each other with them, which obviously,
we thought was hilarious.
One of my
cousins was a bit of a troublemaker. He played pranks on people,
and sometimes he was even a bit mean. He punched you or hit
you and thought it was fun if you got sad.
My brother and
I had a guinea pig named Molly. We really, really loved her. She lived
in a cage in my brother’s room. During the party my troublemaker cousin ran
into the room where Molly was and popped a balloon right in front
of her cage!
Of course,
Molly squeaked and then she died.
I cried
and cried and cried until my dad promised that we would
bury Molly in the backyard. So during the birthday party, while all the guests were
inside my dad, my brother and I walked outside in the pouring rain to
say goodbye to Molly.
We stood
outside in our nice clothes as it rained on us and watched my dad
dig a small hole. Afterwards he put Molly down in it and we said
some nice words about her. We talked about how much we loved her
and how we would miss her.
Then I remembered
that you usually sing songs during a funeral. So I told my dad we had
to sing one as well, but the only “religious” song I knew was the
one I sang in church with my classmates before summer break.
So, in the
middle of November, in the pouring rain, I sang “Den blomstertid nu
kommer” for the guinea pig that died on my brother’s birthday.
+
+ +
As you can see, I
am using quite a few different verbs in this text (27!):
happened, was, had,
invited, played, chased, took, started, hit, thought, punched, loved, lived,
ran, popped, squaked, died, cried, promised, would, were, walked, stood,
rained, told, knew and sang.
My sentences are
not very long, but the sentence structure (the order of the words) is correct.
I am also using a
variation of words to show that I have a large vocabulary. For example, I use
words like funeral (begravning), troublemaker (bråkstake), celebrate (fira),
relatives (släktingar) and so on. When you are writing at home, I want you
to use a dictionary to push yourself to learn new words!
- - - - - -
My
story about the dead guinea pig.
This happened
on my little brothers 5th birthday. We invited
all of our cousins to the party.
I was 7 and we played together and then we took all
the balloons and started throwing them around.
One of my cousins ran into the room were
our guinea pig Molly was and popped a balloon right in front of
her cage!
Molly makes a noise and then
she died.
I cried a lot. My dad said that we will put Molly in the backyard. Then I walked
outside in the pouring rain to say goodbye to Molly.
We stood outside and watched my dad put Molly down
in the ground and we said nice words about her.
Then I remembered that you sing songs when you say goodbye to
someone. I said to my dad we had to sing one as well, and I sang
“Den blomstertid nu kommer” for Molly.
+ + +
The differences between
this story and the first one is:
1) The length. This
story is shorter, because I don't
describe what happened in as much detail. This means I use less verbs and I don't vary myself as much.
2) The grammar.
There are some grammatical errors which I have written in
red. For example, I forgot to
use an apostrophe (brother's
birthday) and I didn't conjugate my
verbs correctly (Molly made
a noise). I also confused the words where
and were.
3) The are some
words and phrases that I didn't use in this text that was in the previous one.
I wrote that Molly "makes a noise" instead of "squeaked"
and I didn't write that we had a funeral. I also wrote "said" many
times, instead of "told" or "mentioned" or any other words
you can use. Variation is important!
- - - - - -
My
dead pet.
I had a pet
and it died on my brothers birthday.
I was very sad and I cryed a lot. My
dad sayed we could put her in the
ground and say goodbye. We walked behind our house and put her in
the ground. My little brother and I said goodbye and we sing a song. It was called "Den
blomstertid nu kommer." It rained and I was so sad the hole time!
+
+ +
Ok, this story is
really the minimum that I ask of
you! It is very short and does not have a lot of details. The grammar is mostly
OK, but there are a few mistakes (in red).
There are also a
few spelling mistakes (in blue),
but they are OK because they sound
correct when you read them. If someone who only spoke English read this
text, they would still understand what you wanted to say.
I have not used a lot of different words in
this text. I write the same phrases a few times "say/said goodbye"
and I also didn't know the word for "backyard" so I wrote "behind
our house" instead. Additionally, I wrote "pet" and not
"guinea pig". This shows that my vocabulary isn't very big.
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